Precious Priviledge

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever.
-Peter Pan
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I don't like planning things. It's nice to come home and have nothing planned except for my basic needs..like food. I love coming home to my own room and to both my family and friends. More than two feet of space that I can literally call my own is blissful. My deep red and white room filled with Parisian memoirs. I always have flowers, my eiffel tower in winter picture placed on my bead board, my les mis poster and of course my bookcases full of books. My room. It's where I create in both thought and deed. It's nice to create art. Whether it be a thought, a picture, or a drawing in my moleskine.
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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
-Marcus Aurelius
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For some creative tunes check out, The Bad Plus (mostly their Prog album) and Carla Bruni (mostly Quelqu'un M'a Dit. Seriously top notch.)

That Song That Describes Your Entire Soul

Have you ever had a moment when you’re with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is blowing through your hair and the song that just describes your entire soul happens to come on and then the person you happen to want to be with happens to love the same song and suddenly you realize you’re listening to it together and no matter how crazy your life has gotten, there’s this one moment, this perfect moment where you could just say that no matter what happens nothing can take this moment away from me… and then something does.
-Roswell
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this is my life these days. messy. cluttered. but still desperately trying. i think everyone should give a long, hard listen to some solid beirut or andrew bird. or some christmas music. your choice.
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Up From This Sea

I am here swimming up from this sea beside you I am here I have always been here your true self I was never gone and through you thought it came from him it was really yourself your whole self entire swimming underwater all the time there beside you I was always there beside your gliding boats and your flapping boats and your humming grinding boats all along I have been alongside you I have always been here I never left.
-Evening
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Blissful Old Trees

But I remember more dearly autumn afternoons in bottoms that lay intensely silent under old great trees
-CS Lewis
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Autumn has brought new experiences, new people and old love. Everything I love about the changing seasons has come yet again: my family, my dearest friends, the 5, the trees, the colors, the crisp wind, the change in light at dusk, cool autumn rain. It's the anticipation for the cold, cozy days where I'm finally able to read a book and drink my tea. It's those days that I long for when I'm walking to class looking up at the leaves against the cold, dark stone of the buildings.
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Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree”
-Emily Bronte
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Don't know why I'm still afraid, if you weren't real I would make you up
now. I wish that I could follow through, I know that your love is true, and deep as the sea. And right now, all your dreams are waking up, and right now I wish I could follow you to the shores of freedom where no one lives.
-Honey and the Moon

Creative Achievement

Periods of tranquility are seldom prolific of creative achievement. Mankind has to be stirred up.
-Alfred North Whitehead
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i feel as though i haven't had time to breathe in the past three weeks. school has been a whirlwind. changing relationships, food, schooling, jobs. the list goes on and on. yet i feel as though as long as i keep my center, my focus and my motives true to what i believe in, there isn't anything i can't do. lately i've been feeling the creativity pushing within me and it's so close to overflowing into my actual artwork..but i can't get to that point yet. i need a break. i really wish that there were some really great art museums to go to and get lost in. i miss the chicago institute. i also miss the beach on stormy days. it's better than getting a tan.
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We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
-Frederick Keonig

A Waking Dream

Hope is a waking dream.
-Aristotle.



I miss Hope College. I miss the seasons there. I miss gathering. I miss the people.



Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
-Romans 12:12

My Symphony

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable; and
wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think
quietly, talk gently, act frankly...to listen to stars and buds, to babes and
sages, with open heart; await occasions,
hurry never...this is my symphony.
- william henry channing
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there are only a few weeks left of summer and i feel as though they're going to flash before my eyes before i can even take the chance to blink. it's been quite the summer and i feel completely ready for school and fall to start. i am anticipating the days for the crisp breeze and the sun to dance around the falling leaves while i wear jackets, sweaters, boots and thick jeans. it will be simply lovely and that is MY symphony.
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Hope

Ode to Hope
-John Keats

When by my solitary hearth I sit,
And hateful thoughts enwrap my soul in gloom;
When no fair dreams before my "mind's eye" flit,
And the bare heath of life presents no bloom;
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

Whene'er I wander, at the fall of night,
Where woven boughs shut out the moon's bright ray,
Should sad Despondency my musings fright,
And frown, to drive fair Cheerfulness away,
Peep with the moonbeams through the leafy roof,
And keep that fiend Despondence far aloof!

Should Disappointment, parent of Despair,
Strive for her son to seize my careless heart;
When, like a cloud, he sits upon the air,
Preparing on his spell-bound prey to dart:
Chase him away, sweet Hope, with visage bright,
And fright him as the morning frightens night!

Whene'er the fate of those I hold most dear
Tells to my fearful breast a tale of sorrow,
O bright-eyed Hope, my morbidfancy cheer;
Let me awhile thy sweetest comforts borrow:
Thy heaven-born radiance around me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

Should e'er unhappy love my bosom pain,
From cruel parents, or relentless fair;
O let me think it is not quite in vain
To sigh out sonnets to the midnight air!
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

In the long vista of the years to roll,
Let me not see our country's honour fade:
O let me see our land retain her soul,
Her pride, her freedom; and not freedom's shade.
From thy bright eyes unusual brightness shed
Beneath thy pinions canopy my head!

Let me not see the patriot's high bequest,
Great Liberty! how great in plain attire!
With the base purple of a court oppress'd,
Bowing her head, and ready to expire:
But let me see thee stoop from heaven on wings
That fill the skies with silver glitterings!

And as, in sparkling majesty, a star
Gilds the bright summit of some gloomy cloud;
Brightening the half veil'd face of heaven afar:
So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud,
Sweet Hope, celestial influence round me shed,
Waving thy silver pinions o'er my head!
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A Commemoration

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked
-Bernard Meltzer
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pardon my wisdom teeth cheeks ;)
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i feel as though it's time to commemorate the people in my life that keep me going besides my family and God. they're beautiful individuals and i would literally be nowhere without their influence, laughter, guidance, and love.
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meet my best friends. they are my life and i am theirs. i don't know how lucky i got with getting six beautiful best friends who are more sisters than friends, but somehow i did. they make me laugh, they cry with me and give me a high five when i do something memorable.
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Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.
-Unknown
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it's truly amazing when you can find one person in a lifetime that will stick by you even when you completely fail at life. my best friends love me, and i love them.

Blithe Summer

How sweet I roamed from field to field, and tasted all the summer's pride.
-William Blake
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i feel it's appropriate to commemorate the return of summer. it comes every year without fail. the hot breeze, the cotton dresses, the smiles and carefree laughter. there is nothing bad about summer. the beach is finally crowded again. the boats return to the cool waters and sail with blithe.
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In summer, the song sings itself.
-William Carlos Williams

Gouttes de Pluie

I love the rain. I want the feeling of it on my face.
-Katherine Mansfield
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the rain speaks to me in a way that nothing else can. the smell of rain on skin combined with wet trees and grass is one of the greatest smells in the world. there is nothing better than watching the rain, listening to good music and of course the cup of coffee :).
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Written Happenings

The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.
-Lee Iacocca
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Ways of Self-Improvement

+learn to spell improvement (which i hadn't earlier)
+sit in the sun a lot
+culture yourself
+listen to actual music (or good music)
+think about yourself less
+read better books
+pray more and longer
+become more natural and relaxed
+take walks
+eat less gross stuff
+draw more
+observe more people
+laugh at yourself more
+wear less makeup
+take care of your skin
+design things
+become more simple in thought, word, and action
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Biltmore Estate

Clean Sunlight

It's clean. I like it because it's clean.
-Max Skinner (A Good Year)
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the sun has made me happy. it makes me want to wear a cotton or linen dress and walk in a field by a river. or through a garden. it's clean, warm and lovely.
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Petit Trianon Gardens
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Obviously Obvious.

Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious...
-Michael Stipe
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my life is just this.
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Confusion heard his voice, and wild uproar stood ruled, stood vast infinitude confined; Till at his second bidding darkness fled, Light shone, and order from disorder sprung.
-John Milton
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A Sky on Fire

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
-Eskimo Proverb.
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now normally i'm not the type of person to post lyrics. personally i find that really cliche and gross. but these are so poetic and the song is so moving. audrey assad is a new and upcoming christian artist and her voice is absolutely fantastic. one of the best i've heard in long, long time. i think i love this song as much as i do because it almost perfectly reflects how i feel about God.

For the Love of You:

You live in a million places
Your fingerprints can be seen on a million faces
and there's a trace of You
in every alleluia
every song that I sing

for love of You
i'm a sky on fire
for love of You
i come alive
it's Your Sacred Heart within me beating
Your voice within me singing
(out for love of You)

it's all for you

You are the highway i travel
cause i watched You carve streets of gold
from sin and gravel
i gave You brokenness
You gave me innocence
and now this road leads to glory

You are my deepest longing
so i see You everywhere
it's You i'm chasing after
cause i am captivated by who You are
and how You move
i'll follow You forever
god
for love of You

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Celebrations

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.
-Unknown

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today is my birthday.

i'm slightly enthused.
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oliver likes to celebrate things..especially me.

These Days

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.
-I Peter 4:12-13

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trust is vital to my life these days.

The Whole Aim

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
-Dumbledore

As most people know I am an HP fan. I basically want to be Harry Potter, basically. Nonetheless Dumbledore has provided us with some extremely useful information today. I find it extremely foolish to forget to live, as I often do. It's so easy to get into the groove of things and forget that you're actually living a life full of wonder and beauty.

But as it is now the time that life is starting to happen again, both in the weather and just in general, I'm hoping it will be much easier to "live". It just makes me love this time of year even more because it's not quite summer. It's the same as winter, just happier and excessively warmer. Thus, better.

Also, the weather gives you actual hope that you'll be able to get a tan soon (not really for me, but you get the gist).

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DC over my spring break.
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Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence
-Aristotle

As most of you may know, one of my life aspirations is to be a witty individual. Aside from this my other one is to be happy. Yes, i know that I'm a cliche person, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy.

I think it's a pretty good life plan to try to be happy, and wise.


p.s. i feel it's worth noting I've worn both sandals and my blue trench this week.

Drinking the Wild Air

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air…
-Ralph Waldo Emerson


It is sunny, and therefore I am happy. I have had enough of this clouds and snow stuff, it's about time the sun made its appearance.

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As much as I love winter, I am ready for spring and the beach. I am ready to break out my powder blue trench and drink the wild air. I want to experience the life and rebirth that spring brings.

Just living is not enough... One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
-Hans Christian Anderson

Strange Flowers

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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What would happen if you did wake up with a flower in your hand from a dream? I suppose you do every morning when you wake up, life is a beautiful flower plucked from heaven. Yes, life can be strange, but it has so many more opportunities to be beautiful.

Even dreams themselves can be beautiful. I think it's so cool that our brains can dream, whether we're awake or not. It's that crazy phenomenon of the unconscious that helps us to process the innate desires of our heart. It is so fascinating on how the events of our conscious lives transfer over into our unconscious lives, like the strange yet beautiful flower.

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Art is a waking dream. Dreams are sleeping art.
-Unknown

May As Well Enjoy the Scenery

Optimist: A man who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
-Walter Winchell

I say, lets be optimists today. The only day we have is today, may as well be a good one. If you're a pessimist then things are just gray and ugly. But if you force yourself enough the sky can turn blue. Even if the sky is pretty nasty looking, may as well enjoy the scenery.

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I've recently decided that i need to read more books. Good books though. Not this pop-culture crap that comes out these days. I want the real stuff, the real literature that's changed lives.

I feel like that i would at least be a bit more well rounded as an individual. I feel like my horizons are the size of a shoebox. I want them to at least be the size of a refrigerator box. And i feel as though books can help me to expand the walls of knowledge within my shoebox.

So today, lets be knowledgeable optimists. God gives us only one day, and that day is today. But i suppose it's better said than done.

Swimming in the Sea

I am here swimming up from this sea beside you I am here I have always been here your true self I was never gone and through you thought it came from him it was really yourself your whole self entire swimming underwater all the time there beside you I was always there beside your gliding boats and your flapping boats and your humming grinding boats all along I have been alongside you I have always been here I never left.

-Evening

I like this.

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Bisy Backson

I can't believe it's already february. I think that, that is absolutely ridiculous. Where did january go? Time flies.

But when you actually sit, breathe, and reflect, you realize that a month has flown past didn't really fly by. You act, you cry, you laugh, you listen, you learn, you talk. It's so interesting to think, even just for a day, at how many times you got angry over silly things or how many peals of laughter occurred that one night. It's very interesting and fascinating.

“Where you are going is more important than how fast you are going”

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I feel as though, as human beings, we try to be busy. The tao of pooh. Great book, bisy backson chapter is exactly what i'm talking about. We think it will add to the resume we're building or get us into the college of our dreams to be busy and stressed. And yes, being busy helps with these. But what would happen if we cleared our schedule? For a day, an hour? And just did nothing? Caught up with a friend over coffee, went to lunch with a sibling, read the book you've been meaning to read for three years now, sent that email to your parents you meant to send a week ago?

I feel like if we did this, life would become more meaningful.
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guidance
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“Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours” -Dale Carnegie

I know i discuss my life plans a lot. I like reflecting upon the passions that God has graced me with, and how i can put them to use for his glory. And i thank Him everyday for the people he has placed into my life, to help me, to guide me, to drag me, to walk with me.

The Fresh Fruit in My Life

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring and because it has fresh peaches in it.
- Thomas Walker

I secretly enjoy where i am. Not knowing where i'm going, but just being. It's a time of growth and self-discovery. I like knowing that i'm changing into a cool person, not the lame-o person i was my senior year of high school. I like thinking about if i visited high school and people watched, discovering the differences between me and the senior class. i feel as though it would be an enlightening discovery.

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But, at the same time, i hate the drifter feeling. it's quite a complicated feeling. Some days i feel as though i have no purpose to fufill and God is just like "well tomorrow you'll have purpose" (which i know is completely false, everyday has purpose. it's just a feeling). Like life is passing me by, and i forgot to buy a ticket. I feel like people have boarded the train of life and i didn't get the memo in time.

I think i need to get out more, experience the world. Find the fresh peaches of my life.

That would be nice.

The Passion in My Soul

I discovered how key music is in my life. I always knew it was a part of who i am, and what i do, but i never sat down and thought about how music is a part of my life, minute to minute it is a vital part of my survival. The survival for my sanity in the chaotic world that i live in.

The movement of notes from measure to measure. The poetry of words flowing one into the next. It's amazing.

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Music is what feelings sound like.
-Author Unknown

Feelings. I love that quote because you can feel music. Whether it be with the Sadness, Despair, Fear, Glee, Ecstatic, or Silly part of your heart, you feel music.

Without music the world would be a quieter place, with less feeling and passion. God has blessed mankind with the ability to create. To create music, art, literature, etc. out of passion.

The passion is what keeps my soul alive and thriving.

Celebration of the Unknown

I remembered a really great word today. Benevolence. I've decided to make this part of my life theme. There are definitely more aspects to the theme of my life, but i feel as though benevolence is a good aspect.

“The true source of cheerfulness is benevolence.”

I don't know who says that quote, but I feel as though they're pretty correct in their statement. I know for me, when i go out of my way to "do good" i know i feel pretty cheerful.

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I've decided to not figure life out. Well, eventually I hope the epiphany happens, but as of right now in my life. I don't feel like trying to figure out the thoughts that God is making unavailable for me. I almost enjoy not knowing what to do with my future.

It's that cool unknown fact that you can almost see, but can't. Today is the celebration of the unknown, and I am completely content with that.

Fashion Savvy in Life

This picture makes me happy. The combination of colors and the way the model is looking away, with no care in the world. It's almost as if I want my view upon my life to be as carefree and fashion savvy. I believe that my life will continue in the direction of art. Yes, I know I already said that. I somehow believe that despite all the classes I've taken I have come to a brilliant conclusion. I either want to work in a gallery or design.

I know, I know. Sounds real reliable for me to eventually raise a family. But I feel as though I should be doing something along those lines. I read an article discussing vocation and I came across an illuminating quote.

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

I like this. Because all my life I have been a deep individual. Deeply immersed in the cultures of music and art. I feel like I can make a contribution to God if I follow my passions.

For what good is it to the world if I am not passionate with what I do?

The Simplicity of Chaos.

I've decided to create a blog. Obviously. I figure that since I'm not sure what to do in my life, someone will be interested to see where I turn out.

I love art.

It's that simple, but at the same time nothing is simple. Just as a relationship with a friend or a lover. Nothing is as simple as it seems.

But i really like that fact. It makes life a bit more interesting.